that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
this just has baby written all over it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
