I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
