when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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