Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
