the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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