i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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