my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
