it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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