Don't you send me to vm
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
