i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
