I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
