I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm experimenting with sincerity
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
