part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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