you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
