Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
your room smells of hookers.
And success
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
