I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I want a musical about memes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
