I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
