you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
