you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
