It's Friday. Sex?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
