LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Girls should come with a carfax report
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
