before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
