So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
