I don't think brook has ever known best
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
