Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
