Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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