dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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