How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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