Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
