whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
