i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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