so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
