it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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