woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
