How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
