I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
