I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
