I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
