Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I still have a little drunk in my system
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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