He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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