Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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