Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
