You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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