we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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