I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
