Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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