You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
