LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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