There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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