That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
