So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
