walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
