Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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