Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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